Iruka's Hiccups
by AlchemistOfSushi
Summary: Summary inside... Just a oneshot I thought of... xD Please R&R, contains mild humour and a little OOC-ness D Hope you enjoy reading!


**A Naruto Daioh! Moment**

**A/N: **Mild OOC-ness and crack

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Azumanga Daioh**

**Summary: **After a prank pulled by Genma Shiranui, Iruka Umino gets the hiccups, so how is he supposed to cure it without the help of Maito Gai, Kakashi Hatake and Asuma Sarutobi? Minor Iruka-bashing, but nothing too serious. Mostly humour-Iruka-bashing

The four Jounin and the young Chunin were sitting at Ichiraku's ramen bar eating their lunch. Genma had spicy pork miso ramen, while the others went with a little less spice and more flavour. Iruka had plain pork miso ramen, as he hated spicy food, but Genma had other plans. Genma purposely knocked Iruka's wallet off the bench and as Iruka went to pick it up, the quick-thinking Jounin swapped around their bowls. This plan was either going to work or it wasn't. Iruka didn't notice anything, but he scooped up a big spoonful of noodles and pork and ate it, while Genma had his chopsticks halfway up to his mouth in case he exploded with laughter.

Suddenly, Iruka clamped his hands over his mouth, his face turning dark red while Genma unsuccessfully tried to stifle his oncoming laughter. Iruka's scream echoed all around Konoha, startling many of the students.

Later, when they were walking back, Iruka looked as though he was going to burst into tears, while Genma walked alongside him, holding his sides and giggling like a little girl. Even Kakashi and Asuma couldn't help a small smile.

'Genma-san! You're so mean!' Iruka cried, looking slightly distressed. All of a sudden, a small squeak came from Iruka's mouth. '_Hic_.'

'Huh?'

'Are you okay?'

'Iruka?'

'What? _Hic_.' Iruka looked dumbfounded, and so began the expert plan to get rid of Iruka's hiccups. Asuma led the group to a set of vending machines beside the academy, and Iruka was instructed to buy a milk tea and then drink it non-stop. Kakashi suggested that Iruka cover his ears and block his nose and drink the milk tea in one go, so Asuma held his hands over Iruka's ears and the young Chunin drank.

'Has it worked?' Maito Gai inquired.

'_Hic_.'

'Nope. Plan two?'

Plan two was to get Iruka to balance a cup of juice on chopsticks, which he did, until he lost his balance and tripped over the stone curb and ended up falling backwards.

'Did that work?' Asuma asked. Iruka shook the leaves out of his hair and stared at the others, feeling hopeful.

'_Hic_.'

'Geez, what stubborn hiccups,' commented Genma bluntly. The others nodded and they went to hang out at the training field for a bit.

After a few minutes, Kakashi turned to the others and in the plainest voice you can imagine, he stated, 'I think that if you hiccup for a whole day, you can die.'

'Die? _Hic_.' Iruka didn't like the idea of death by hiccups, and he was determined to find a cure. Immediately, seeing the panic-stricken look on Iruka's face, Genma jumped up and flailed his arms.

'Be afraid, Iruka! Please be scared!'

'… Sorry Genma, that's not scary at all.'

'If anything, its psychotic maybe,' Kakashi noted.

'Aw damn,' Genma hung his head, and then Asuma got a revelation. He swung his arm and thumped Iruka on the back.

'Ow! Ow! Hey! Stop it!' Iruka exclaimed, while Asuma continued to whack him on the back. He repeated this several times until Kakashi grabbed Asuma's hand and again, stated bluntly.

'Isn't that for when somebody's choking?'

'What? Really? Ahhh, I'm sorry Iruka,' Asuma blushed slightly and rubbed the back of his head nervously. Iruka winced and nodded.

'_Hic_.'

'Well, what causes hiccups anyway?' inquired Maito Gai.

'It's a spasm in the diaphragm,' replied Kakashi, the oh-so-smart person in the group. Maito Gai cocked his head to the side.

'Diaphragm? Where's that?'

'Below your lun–' Asuma began.

'Okay! Yosh!' Maito Gai powered up and before anyone could react, he slammed his fist hard into Iruka's gut, causing the younger Chunin to cry out in pain. Iruka staggered back, clutching his stomach.

'… Gai, I think you missed,' Asuma said.

'Really? How about I try ag–'

'No need,' Asuma and Kakashi said in unison, while Iruka whimpered.

'Did it work?'

'_Hic_.'

'… No, I guess not.'

'Well there's no other cure. How are we supposed to help poor Iruka now?'

'I don't know.'

'Give them to someone else.'

'Give them to someone else?'

'Yes.'

'How? _Hic_.'

Kakashi thought for a moment, and then there was an awkwardly strange silence.

'_Hic_.'

'Should we arrange the funeral?'

'It wasn't me,' Iruka put up his hands and the other Jounin looked.

'_Hic_.' The three Jounin and the Chunin whirled around to see Hayate Gekkou looking at them with the most confused expression ever. '_Hic_.' Asuma and Kakashi looked at each other and then back at Hayate. Iruka looked a little pitiful, Genma sighed and Maito Gai bunched up his fist. Hayate looked uneasily at the other Konoha Ninja.

'What's… what's with those stares?' Hayate asked. The Jounin and Chunin looked back with the darkest (pure evil) stares Hayate had ever seen. Poor Hayate…


End file.
